At our last mastermind group, we checked in on everyone's status and progress. Two of us are writing books (respectively). My book is Intensive Care for the Nurturer's Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others. Randy hasn't told us his book title. We both set out to write our own book back in August, and neither completed the book by the deadlines we set for ourselves. Needless to say, we were a bit disappointed and wished we could show our books to our mastermind group.

Being a supportive group, other members tried to help us feel better by pointing out what else is in our lives and what we have accomplished. Randy got a lot on his plate - he was one of the presenters at the annual ICF conference, he is working hard on his coaching program and forming a new partnership, and, to top it off, he just had a brand new baby last month. I also have a lot going on -- keynote speaking at the Northeast Regional Oncology Nursing Conference and several other speaking engagements, coaching clients, teaching Teleclass, developing new products and group coaching programs, forming new strategic alliances, volunteer work, running businesses with my husband, not to mention raising two kids and volunteering at their schools. Not to give ourselves excuses, but, we do have very full plates, and we have both accomplished a lot in the last few months. Isn't it so common that we tend to focus on what we did not achieve and beat ourselves up, while overlooking all the other things we have accomplished?

Writing the book is an important project for me, but, there are so many other priorities in my life and business. It would be nice to lock myself in a resort to write my book, but, it's far from my reality. I realized that I wasn't being realistic when I set my goal in August. I totally didn't consider how little work I would be able to get done in August, with two kids home, family visiting and our vacation, etc. September was an extremely busy month, too, for our family and for my business. A bunch of exciting new projects and opportunities sidetracked me, and I lost my momentum in writing my book.

In addition, being a first-time author, I grossly under-estimated how much time and work it would take to write and edit the book, and all the back and forth with the publisher, the graphic designer, the editor, etc. I was influenced by all the gurus out there who said they wrote their books in as little as 24 hours, and thought it would be a breeze for me too. Wow, what a learning experience for me! I realized that the way I write takes a lot from me, and I need a lot of internal processing before I can write the words. It has to come straight from my heart, and sometimes it takes a long time. My colleagues in my mastermind group helped me see that my writing is very unique, and it touches people because it comes from my heart. I would be doing myself and my readers a disservice if I try to rush the process or change my style just to meet a certain deadline.

One thing is for sure -- it definitely doesn't help the progress by beating myself up. I did a reality check. Randy and I both started writing in August, and it's only been 4 months. Many authors took years to write their books. We are doing just fine. Seriously. I'd rather take the time, enjoy the writing process, and produce a book I'm proud of, than rushing to the finish line just for the sake of finishing the project. It would totally defeat the purpose if I'm stressing myself out and breaking down, while writing a book about Intensive Self-Care. Yeah, that would be the upmost irony, wouldn't it?

With the fresh outlook, I decided to cut myself a slack and just enjoy the holidays with my family. The writing will come naturally when I am relaxed and centered. I'd be more patient with myself, trusting that the book will get done when it's the right time.

By the way, I'm back on writing my book again and getting close to completion. Randy, on the other hand, decided to put his book on the back burner for the time being. When the right time comes, he will complet his book. I have no doubt about that.

Labels: coaching, getting support, Intensive Self-Care, mastermind, perseverance, personal development, priority, success