As you know, I hosted a two-part Teleclass series "Essential Oils for Health and Healing" (9/28/07) and "Metaphysical Essential Oils for Personal Success" (10/19/07), with guest speakers Nancy Orlen Weber, RN, and Christina M. Santiago, wellness consultant.

What an incredible Teleclass we had! Nancy and Christina presented an abundant amount of information on specific essential oils and many unbelievable real-life success stories, including their own. For example, in Part I of the Teleclass, Nancy shared her experience with a metaphysical essential oil Highest Potential. She said, within a few weeks of using that oil on herself every day, her income tripled and she got many bookings on national TV, including the Psychic Detective show on Biography channel. After hearing her story, I ordered Highest Potential and Abundance for myself and started using them every day. What happened to me within 2 weeks of using these oils was simply amazing! You have to listen to the recordings to find out what happened.

I learned so much from this Teleclass series, and the audience showed their enthusiasm with lots of great questions. If you attended the live calls, I'm sure you would agree with me.

To listen to both Part I and Part II of this Teleclass series, simply visit this page and sign yourself up.

Once registered, you will receive a link to listen or download the Teleclass recordings, as well as all the additional resources that Nancy & Christina recommended. As a BONUS, you will also receive my Intensive Self-Care Kit ($97 value).

If you have not listened to the recordings yet, I encourage you to sign up and listen to them this weekend.

In addition, I have just uploaded an *updated* list of Recommended Therapeutic-Grade Essential Oils PDF file. This list includes all the Metaphysical Essential Oils mentioned during the Teleclass, as well as many other oils listed in the Essential Oils Desk Reference (Nancy recommended this book during the class).

I have listed many oils suitable for common conditions such as insomnia, aches & pains (headaches, neck & back pain, arthritis, sore muscles), cuts & burns,
anxiety, stress, negative emotions, mental & physical fatigue, indigestion, common cold, allergy, etc.

Some of my personal favorites: Peace & Calming, Abundance, Highest Potential, Release, Lavender, Forgiveness, Lemon, Frankincense, Valor, Marjoram, PanAway, Aroma Siez, Peppermint (the last 4 oils are a *life savor* for my neck & back pain).

When you are anxious & stressed, or when your body is exhausted and your mind is still racing at bedtime (we've all experienced this before), Peace & Calming will help you ease your anxiety and lure you to sleep. Simply inhale deeply, apply to wrists, temples, under nose and bottom of your feet. If you haven't had restful sleep for a long time, I highly recommend that you try this oil.

These essential oils have done wonderful things for my body, mind and spirit, so I really hope you will give it a try. You can get more information and purchase these oils here.

You can sign up here to download the Recommended Therapeutic-Grade Essential Oils and receive Teleclass recordings.

I hope you find this information helpful. Please feel free to email me if you have any questions. I'd love to hear what you think & what you learn from this Teleclass series, and/or your personal experience using the Young Living Essential Oils. Please drop me a note and let me know.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Labels: abundance, Free Teleclass, healing, health, Intensive Self-Care, Law of Attraction, managing emotions, personal development, stress management, success, transformation

If you have any of these challenges below, you definitely don't want to miss our ADD Teleclass today!

• feeling scattered, unable to focus on anything for long
  
• feeling anxiety, stress and overwhelm due to lack of focus or organization
  
• difficulty staring a task/project because you cannot organize the information needed
  
• difficulty finishing your tasks due to lack of focus or organization
  
• tendency to procrastinate when you don't know how to start a task, then beat yourself up because you feel so ashamed & guilty for not keeping your commitments
  
• tendency to obsess over a task and blow things out of proportion
  
• your family & friends get annoyed because you forget important birthdays, to-do list all the time
  
• you have low self-esteem and depression because you feel there's something wrong with you and you let everyone down

Sounds familiar?

To register for this FREE Teleclass, visit:
==> www.beyondhorizoncoaching.com/add.html


Here are some questions I've received from our participants:

• Q: How will I know if I have ADD?
  
• Q: Is there a test that we (my daughter & I) can take to diagnose if we have ADHD or not?
  
• Q: I have learning disabilities as well as ADD. I want to have my own business but the office and finances is my area of weakness. Do you see away around this as a business owner?
  
• Q: How to overcome being scattered, disorganized in my mind, feeling guilty and ashamed, feeling anxiety, stress and overwhelm as a result of lack of focus and/or organization?
  
• Q: Is ADD hereditary?
  
• Q: How to stay in focus for project completion?
  
• Q: Can you use EFT for ADD/ADHD beliefs?
  
• Q: How can i help keep someone with add on track with all the daily things they need to do?
  
• Q: Can ADHD be cured through coaching or medication?
  
• Q: Does my ADD have anything to do with an addiction to porn? What's the effect of ADD and porn addiction on relationships?
  
• Q: How do I maintain balance in my life! (between work, kids, husband, chores etc.)
  
• Q: How to work with client with ADD?

Great questions, aren't they?!! If you have the same questions, please come to our Teleclass today! There's still time to register.

To register for this FREE Teleclass, visit:
==> www.beyondhorizoncoaching.com/add.html

Hope to see you in class!

Labels: coaching, empowerment, Free Teleclass, getting support, goal-setting, making changes, personal development, Resources

One of the intentions of our Coaches Mastermind Group is to share resources that could enhance our coaching and/or business-building skills. At last month's meeting, we decided to add business skills presentations to our regular meeting agenda, in addition to the coaching skills & foundation principles that we take turns to present each month. We would like to invite speakers to talk to us about various business skills such as marketing, PR, sales, networking, public speaking, website design & optimization, etc. We couldn't find a speaker for this month, so, in the interim, Lois and I were asked to talk about what we have learned from Michael Port's Book Yourself Solid. Michael Port was interviewed by iPEC Coaching founder Bruce Schneider last week on his E-Factor show, and that's why I started reading his book again. Lois decided to talk about identifying your ideal client and niche. I decided to talk about the Super Simple Selling System.

I met Michael Port 2 years ago at the ICF (International Coach Federation) NYC-chapter annual conference, where he was one of the speakers. At that time I was a regular participant on his Think Big Revolution weekly calls, and I like his upbeat and empowering attitude on the calls. He strikes me as very warm, sincere and authentic, and very likable. I also likes that he honors his integrity. So I made a point to attend his breakout workshop at the conference and bought his Book Yourself Solid CD set afterwards (his book was not published yet).

In the 3-CD set, he talked about the Simple Selling Process, and it includes an extensive version and a condensed version of the process. That's what I presented to the group. However, I just looked at his hardcover book tonight, and found that he kept the condensed version and called it Super Simple Selling System.

Anyway, if you're like most people, you probably hate selling with a passion. Nobody likes a typical sleazy used car salesman, or the fear-based advertisement. But, as an entrepreneur, especially as a service professional, you obviously need to master, or at least get comfortable, at the selling process.

What I learned from his book changed my perspective about selling and greatly surprised my mastermind group members. First of all, he said, "You are not selling your products or services. You are not even selling yourself. You are selling a solution." That point alone shifted my perspective about selling. The focus is no longer on "proving" how good my products are, or how good I am. The focus is on offering a solution to the prospect's challenges.

The Super Simple Selling System that's outlined in the book sounds more like a coaching session than a sales session. He stressed the importance of keeping the conversation positive and empowering for the prospects, and keeping self-criticism out of it. He also asked us to "stop selling and start helping". When you are in the "helping mode", just as in any coaching sessions, you listen deeply and ask powerful questions to help the prospects zoom in on their goals and vision. More importantly, you help them visualize achieving their goals, really feel it, and come up with action steps to achieve their goals. This is exactly like a coaching session, where I ask empowering questions to help my clients clarify their goals, make them concrete, visualize their success, and create a step-by-step action plan.

You are providing a solution to the prospects, instead of trying to push a product on them. When you look at the selling process this way, you are in the "helping mode" and you are their partner in the problem-solving process. So, it only seems natural to ask the next questions:

"Would you like to have a partner to help you achieve your goals?

And, would you like that partner to be me?"

When I finished my presentation, I could see that everyone seemed so relieved to hear this information. None of us like selling (the traditional way), but, with Michael's new selling concept & process, we get to do what we love to do the most -- coaching and helping others!

Labels: coaching, commitment, getting support, mastermind, success, transformation, vision

Do you constantly feel SCATTERED, disorganized, and hard to focus on any tasks for long?

Do you feel tremendous anxiety, stress and overwhelm as a result of lack of FOCUS and/or organization?

Do you then PROCRASTINATE (which only creates *more* stress & anxiety), obsess over what you SHOULD do but didn't do, blow things out of proportion and BEAT YOURSELF UP?

Do you feel GUILTY and ASHAMED that you cannot keep your commitments and finish your projects on time? So ashamed and DEPRESSED that you just want to crawl under cover and hide?

Does this sound like you or someone you know? If so, you (or your loved one) *might* have ADD/ADHD.

(Note: you need to consult with a physician to rule out other conditions that might mimic ADD/ADHD symptoms.)

Many adults go through their lives without realizing that they have ADD/ADHD. They live in frustration, anxiety, guilt, overwhelm, and wonder what's wrong with them.

It doesn't have to be this way.

There are many treatment options as well as coping strategies available that can help you manage your life effectively, so you can lead a happy & productive personal and professional life.


For more info and to sign up:

==> http://www.beyondhorizoncoaching.com/add.html


My guest speaker Cindy Giardina is a real-life ADD/ADHD success story. Cindy is a certified life coach and owner of Kaleidoscope Coaching Services NJ. She was diagnosed with ADHD at age 42 (after returning to college for a BA - graduated at age 45 with honors), and for over a decade have been advocating for her son who also has the "TALENT of AD/HD" (he is in his second year of college).

Because of her first-hand experience with ADD/ADHD, Cindy is passionate in helping YOU, "bring your life into focus". Her vision is to see ALL adults with the TALENT of AD/HD become more ACCEPTING of themselves as they recognize and acknowledge their STRENGTHS (more than their weaknesses) and reach and realize their true potential, inner desire and passions.


In this Teleclass you will learn:

• Brief description of ADHD
  
• Effects/impacts ones life
  
• Treatment options available
  
• Coping strategies
  
• Q&A (make sure to ask your question when signing up for this Teleclass)

================================================
Teleclass Details:

Date: Friday, October 26th

Time: 12:00pm - 1:00pm Eastern time

Guest Speaker: Cindy Giardina, CPCC, ACC (certified life coach and owner of Kaleidoscope Coaching Services NJ)

Cost: FREE, but you must register to receive
the conference call number & Access Code
================================================

For more info and to sign up:

==> http://www.beyondhorizoncoaching.com/add.html


Recording will be available for those who register for this Teleclass. If you are interested but cannot attend the live class, please sign up anyway.

Hope to "see" you in class this Friday!

Labels: coaching, empowerment, focus, Free Teleclass, getting support, making changes, managing emotions, personal development, Resources, self love, stress management, time management

We had an absolutely fabulous Teleclass last Friday on "Metaphysical Essential Oils for Personal Success", with incredible information on specific oils and amazing real-life success stories. My guest speaker Nancy Orlen Weber, RN, shared how her business catapulted after just weeks of using the Highest Potential oil blend. Her story is simply unbelievable. Some of you know that I've also started using Highest Potential and Abundance, and some amazing things happened within just two weeks... To hear Nancy's and many others' stories,
(including mine), you can listen to the Teleclass recording here

On the same page, you will also find a list of Metaphysical Essential Oils that Nancy and Christina talked about during the class, as well as other resources that Nancy recommended. Some of the Metaphysical Essential Oils that were discussed include: Peace & Calming, Abundance, Highest Potential, Present Time, TraumaLife, Motivation, Valor, Frankincense, Sara, White Angelica, Clarity, Joy, Harmony, Release, etc.

To purchase the same Therapeutic-Grade Essential Oils that Nancy uses, visit www.TrueHealingOils.com.

Labels: abundance, Free Teleclass, inner peace, Intensive Self-Care, managing emotions, overcoming fears, stress management, success, transformation

A good friend of mine sent this story to me. It provides a fresh perspective on what truly matters.
=============================


Once upon a time there was this girl who had four boyfriends.

She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adored him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.

She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.

She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her.

Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.

The girls 1st boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him.

One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, 'I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone'.

Thus, she asked the 4th boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'No way!', replied the 4th boyfriend, and he walked away without another word.

His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.

The sad girl then asked the 3rd boyfriend,'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'No!', replied the 3rd boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!'

Her heart sank and turned cold.

She then asked the 2nd boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and
you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'I'm sorry , I can't help you out this time!', replied the 2nd boyfriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.'

His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.'

The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as
he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.

Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when
I had the chance!'

In truth, you have 4 boyfriends in your lives:

Your 4th boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.

Your 3rd boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth. When you die, it will all go to others.

Your 2nd boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.

And your 1st boyfriend is your Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world.

However, your Soul is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go.

Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of Heaven and continue with you throughout Eternity.

"Being happy doesn't mean every thing's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections."

Labels: awareness, Higher Self, inspiration, Intensive Self-Care, perspective, priority, self love, spirituality

Ah, fall is here! It's one of my favorite seasons. The old maple trees in my front yard are showing off their fall colors. I love it when the maple leaves are carpeting the front lawn, the air is crisp and the sky is crystal clear. The sun feels warm and inviting. My cats are napping contently by the sunny window. After the live-out-loud summer, fall seems to be a perfect time to pause and be introspective, to go into that quiet space inside, gather the energy from the nature, and plan for changes on the horizon. Yes, fall is the season of change. Can you feel it in the air?

September proved to be a busy month. If you are a parent, you know getting the kids back to school and into their new routines is no small feat. On the business side, I got a lot accomplished -- new training, new alliances, new programs in development. I also completely "remodeled" my blog (I'm sure you've noticed it). I'm very pleased that I did it myself.

One highlight from September was that I attended a Jack Canfield live seminar. For years I've been a big fan of Jack's work -- The Success Principles, The Secret, Chicken Soup for the Soul series. I also went through his Success Principles personal coaching program last year as a client (yes, all great coaches have their own coaches! I still keep in touch with my coach Lee Caldwell from Jack Canfield Coaching.)

When I heard that Jack was coming to New Jersey to give a live seminar, of course I wouldn't pass up this opportunity to meet him in person. I told Lee that I was going to attend Jack's seminar, and he said I've got to speak to Jack and tell him I'm a Canfield coaching client. Well, at first I wasn't sure I would, since I'm shy around celebrities. But, I finally decided to introduce myself to Jack, and I'm so glad I did!! I got to tell him how his work & coaching program has influenced my life and my coaching business. It's such an honor to meet him and tell him how I feel. He is just as warm and genuine as I've imagined him to be.

Of course, his presentation was phenomenal, and there were so many "golden nuggets" packed in his speech. Here I'd just share two things:

1. Ask for what you really want (not what's possible), Believe it's possible, and be open to Receive.
2. Never, ever, ever give up!


You can read my October E-zine here:

==> http://www.beyondhorizoncoaching.com/oct07news.html


Fall is the season of change. If you've set a goal to make some significant changes in your life, then you wouldn't want to miss THIS Friday's Teleclass:

==================================================
Metaphysical Essential Oils for Personal Success
Date: Friday, October 19th
Time: 12:00-1:00 pm EST
Speakers: Nancy Orlen Weber, RN and Christina M. Santiago, wellness consultants
==================================================

As we learned from Part I of this two-part Teleclass series, Therapeutic-Grade Essential Oils are tiny little lipid molecules that can enter your "blood brain barrier". It means they can affect your body and emotions by directly affecting your brain.

Some Essential Oils have "metaphysical" properties. They can raise your vibration frequency, therefore positively affect your mindset, thoughts and emotions.

For example, there are oils that can calm your anxiety, enhance mental focus, release past hurt & negative emotions, help you attract abundance and reach your highest potential. They are a great tool to help you make the changes you need, in order to reach your goals.

To learn more and register for this FREE Teleclass:

==> http://www.beyondhorizoncoaching.com/eoteleclass.html


If you have not set your 6-month goals, take our goal-setting quiz and get your personalized Free Goals Report.

Blessings,
Hueina

Labels: abundance, Free Teleclass, healing, health, Intensive Self-Care, Law of Attraction, making changes, managing emotions, Newsletter, overcoming fears, stress management, transforming limiting beliefs

Copyright © 2007 Hueina Su, Beyond Horizon Coaching

We all know the gift of giving, but few understand the gift of receiving.

It's very gratifying to be able to give and help others, especially when they do appreciate your help, or when you can see how they've benefited from your help. Being altruistic is definitely a virtue, however, some people I know and/or have worked with tend to see self-sacrifice as their obligation. These people have the tendency to "over-nurture" at the cost of their own physical or emotional well-being, until they reach the point of Nurturing Burnout.

On the other hand, some people might equate asking for help as a sign of weakness or inadequacy. For example, a mother or a business owner might reason that she "should" be able to do it all, if she is a capable mother or business owner. As a result, they have the hardest time admitting they need help and/or asking for help. This kind of mentality and behavior also drain you physically and emotionally, and easily lead to burnout.

Some recent studies indicated caregivers as the most stressful job, worse than air traffic controllers. Taking care of a loved one with an illness or special needs takes a toll on the caregivers' physical, emotional and financial well-being. When the caregivers neglect their own needs, and fail to practice Intensive Self-Care while taking care of their loved ones, they could quickly become burned out.

Even if you are not a caregiver, the same predicament could happen to you, if you do not take good care of yourself.

The solution, I believe, lies in striking the balance between giving and receiving. It requires heightened self-awareness and self-love. You need to be aware and acknowledge when you need support from others, and to respect that need. To honor and respect your own needs is an act of self-love and self-compassion. You need to understand and believe that you deserve to love and nurture yourself, at least as much as you love and nurture others.

It's easier said than done, I know. I'm often surprised by how uncomfortable some people get about accepting help.

Earlier this year, I took my children to Home Depot to buy new plants and top soil for my garden. You know Home Depot - there's always a surplus of guys in that store. Not just any guys -- these are supposedly very strong, capable, DIY type of guys (at least they believe themselves to be, right?). So, on this beautiful sunny afternoon, as I was pulling into the Home Depot parking lot, I saw an old lady standing by her car, attempting to lift the 40-lb bags of top soil into her trunk. She's got to be in her 70s, and looked very frail. I have no idea why she was there all by herself, buying these bags of top soil which she obviously couldn't carry. Perhaps she was counting on some of the strong, capable guys that shop at Home Depot would give her a helping hand. Well, as I parked and got out of my car, I saw a couple big guys walking by her toward the store, but none of them stopped to offer her help. Meanwhile, she was still attempting with no success to lift the first bag of top soil out of the shopping cart.

So, I walked straight to her with my two kids, and offered to help her. She looked at me for 2 seconds and said, "I don't need your help. I need a man to help me." I guess she had little faith in my 5'3'' and 100 lb physique. Or, perhaps she believes that it's a "man's job" to carry the top soil, and I'm not capable or qualified for that. Who knows? In any case, I'm a mom, and I can certainly handle a few bags of top soil.

I looked around, and, as far as I could tell, I did not see any of those "strong, capable guys" come running to help this poor old lady. Once more, I assured her that I could help her, and she finally decided to let me help her move the bags into her trunk. Then, she made a remark that I thought was bewildering. Instead of saying "thank you", she said, "Now, how am I going to move these into my house? Are you going to follow me home and help me?" I'm not kidding. That's what she said.

"Um, I'm sorry, but I can't help you there." I said, "You can probably find a neighbor to help you."

As I said good-bye to her and walked toward the store, I pondered on this surreal encounter. On one hand, I'm happy that I could help her, and grateful that I am healthy and strong enough to be on the giving end. On the other hand, I have to say, it's kind of disappointing to offer someone help and being turned down. It's also kind of weird that I had to "convince" the old lady to let me help her, and the fact that she didn't seem to appreciate the assistance even though she obviously needed it. Even though I did help her in the end, it did not feel as gratifying as if she had say yes to me the first time I offered to help.

This got me thinking. Why is it so difficult to accept other's assistance? And, when you know you really need help, does it really matter where it comes from?

Another experience I had years ago was totally different. This time, I was at the receiving end. It was when my children were very little. One day, I had an emergency and my husband was out of town. We had no family nearby at all, and it was hard to get a babysitter on such a short notice. A friend of mine offered to watch my children for a few hours. I couldn't thank her enough after I returned. To that she replied, "No, thank YOU for trusting me with your children. It means a lot to me."

I was so moved that I couldn't utter a word. Needless to say, our friendship deepened as a result and I saw her as a true friend.

You see, when you graciously accept others' offering of assistance, you are not only receiving a gift from them, you are also giving them a precious gift -- an opportunity to receive the gratifying and exhilarating experience of being able to help someone and make a difference in someone's life.

If you have helped someone before, you know the feeling I'm talking about. We all want to feel useful and needed. We all want to make a difference. Being able to help makes us feel great about ourselves.

Think about it. When you turn away an extended helping hand, you are depriving that person an opportunity to feel great about himself/herself. On the contrary, when you allow someone to give you a helping hand, you are giving them this precious gift of making a difference and feeling great about themselves. That's why I call it the gift of receiving. As a result, you get the help you need, the other person feels great, and it also strengthens your relationship.

Win-win situation.

So, next time someone offers you a hand, instead of automatically answering "No thanks, I can handle it", take a pause and consider these questions:

• Am I saying no because I really don't need any help or because I don't want to "bother" someone else?
  
• Am I saying no because I'm afraid of being judged as incapable or inadequate?
  
• Could I use the help? Would this make my life easier?
  
• What am I trying to accomplish here?
  
• How important is my long-term health and emotional well-being?
  
• Could I use someone to share my load so I could take a much-needed break for myself?

If you could really use the help, then by all means, why not say YES for a change?

Related post: From Self-Sacrifice to Self-Love

Labels: awareness, caregiver, compassion, getting support, giving, Intensive Self-Care, personal development, perspective, relationship, self love

Guy Finley, the founder of Life of Learning Foundation, is one of my all-time favorite authors and motivational speakers on how to be your authentic self, break free from limiting beliefs & fears, and live an unstoppable, fearless life. My personal favorite is his Secrets of Being Unstoppable 16 CD set. It's timeless wisdom that provides tremendous empowerment and self-discovery. If you have not listened to or read Guy Finley's work, I highly recommend it!

The following article is an excerpt from his book The Secret of Letting Go. Visit his website for more info on his other books and CDs, classes and radio shows, etc.

=========================================
Lift Yourself into a Brand New World
Copyright © Guy Finley
=========================================

Within each of us there is an expansive world of thoughts and feelings whose movements determine how we perceive and experience the world outside of us. While this inner-world of thoughts and feelings may not directly bring us what we see, it does profoundly influence how we see our world of relationships and events. The inner determines the outer. In other words, we are seeing the exterior but experiencing the interior.

One simple example of how this works is when our heart is heavy or troubled. Whenever we happen to feel this way, everything else around us tends to appear equally dark. But there are far deeper implications to this important insight. With patient self-study, we can turn it into a personal breakthrough of the most freeing kind that can lift us to a brand new world. Let's get started.

All of us have felt, at one time or another, trapped in our own life. During these periods of heightened unhappiness one thing seems clear: the only reason we haven't realized our great potential is because we're being held back. There is some unpleasant person, an inescapable condition, some unwanted place in life where we got "stuck."

So, over and over again we plan our great escape. And over and over again we find ourselves either having gone nowhere, or back where we started from, both results being the same. For all of our efforts, nothing really changes. New loves, new jobs, even new homes change only the walls that surround us -- not our feelings of being imprisoned. We sense that all we have done is changed cells!

We mustn't fight with or in any way fear this shocking conclusion. Why? Because this temporarily disturbing discovery about our actual condition contains a crucial insight. It was never that person or circumstance that was blocking our moment in the sun. No! In spite of how things may appear to us, we are never trapped by where we are. The trap is always who we are. Here is a short summary of this new and unusual self-discovery:

When you run into a personal obstacle, you have not run into an outer condition that is denying you happiness. You have run into your own present life-level.

Your level of being is what determines where you are at any given moment because your experience is always who you are. Let me repeat this. For better or for worse, you experience who you are, not where you are.

Here are a few more examples to help you see this important idea.

All of us have felt:

• Lonely in a crowd.
  
• Out of place at a family gathering.
  
• Frightened in a loved one's arms.
  
• Depressed at a party.
  
• Crowded even though alone.

When you hear someone say, "I'm sick and tired of it," what he is really saying without realizing it is that he's sick and tired of suffering from his own lack of understanding. This all becomes clear once we understand that unhappiness does not come at us, it comes from us.

For instance, impatience with our level of understanding is the very level of understanding we are impatient with. The understanding of this spiritual principle allows us to disconnect ourselves from our impatience. Life becomes instantly better. For one thing, the frustration fades. In its place, learning flowers. And the more we inwardly grow, the easier our whole life flows.

This new idea of acting to deliberately disconnect ourselves from whatever we think has us blocked leads us to true self-liberation because we have never been trapped by anything outside of our own lack of understanding. This is why even the attempt to disconnect ourselves from the limitations of our present life-level already belongs to a higher level of understanding.

This conscious action on your part "works" by gradually breaking down the painful circle-of-self that is repeatedly formed by asking the problem for the solution. Barriers begin to crumble and disappear, because you have stopped creating them. In the truest meaning of the words, you are getting out of your own way!

Practice self-disconnect as often as you can. The more you work at this special kind of letting go, the freer your days will flow and the higher your life will go.

Persistence is everything in your personal work. You must persist even if it is only with your wish to be persistent. You must persist in spite of all forces that seem to be against your wish to break through to a new you. Believe me, there are no real obstacles between you and the brand new life for that you long for. You can (and must) prove this kind of freedom to yourself, starting with this understanding and implied action:

The greater the doubt you will dare to step through, the greater your possibility to grow beyond yourself. Here's why this axiom always holds true. The only barriers between yourself -- and a life without limits -- are the powers you've mistakenly given to your doubts and fears. On the other hand, every time you walk past these false powers -- by disconnecting yourself from the false concerns they cast at your feet -- here's what happens: spiritual strength is increased.

What is spiritual strength? It can be said in dozens of ways, but for now let's put it like this: it's knowing you don't have to compromise yourself in any way -- with anyone, over anything -- in order to be content, confident, and secure in life.

Here are seven proven ways to increase this new kind of spiritual strength. Study them with the wish to uncover the secrets hidden in their empowering instructions. Practice each one -- or all of them -- every day. You'll see that with the very act of disconnecting yourself from the fears and doubts that compromise your life, you are re-connecting yourself to a new kind of power that never leaves you alone in your hour of need.

• Refuse to revisit your own past for a way out of any present problem you face.
  
• Say "No" to anyone or anything that you fear saying "No" to.
  
• Never explain yourself to anyone out of fear they may misjudge you.
  
• Learn to see your own defensiveness towards others as an offense against your own right to be free of fear.
  
• Whenever possible realize that the person you are about to argue with is in as much pain as you are.
  
• Never accept any negative reaction you may have as the only possible answer to your present challenge.

Remember that everything you resist in life increases its weight by the magnitude of thought spent in not wanting it, so you accept all that you can, and quietly drop the rest.

Persist with these spiritual practices and you will see old doubts turn into new certainty, and dark fears replaced with a bright fearlessness.


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P.S. Guy Finley will be interviewing Dr. Ellen Dickstein on "Break out of self-punishing patterns" on his Internet radio show Guy Finley Live!

-- Tuesday, October 16th from 9-10 am PT (and every 3rd Tuesday of the month thereafter).
-- Broadcast live via the Internet at www.HealthyLife.net.
-- Call toll-free 800-555-5453 (310-371-5444 outside the US) to talk live with special guest host Dr. Ellen Dickstein during the show!

Labels: authentic self, awareness, conscious choice, empowerment, inspiration, letting go, managing emotions, overcoming fears, personal development, transforming limiting beliefs

"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." -- Vincent Van Gogh

We're usually our own worst critic. Most people hear their "inner critic" (or what I call "Gremlin") on a regular basis, and the "inner critic" usually speaks the loudest when they try to get a new job, new relationship, new project, new client, etc. You're probably familiar with the typical Gremlin messages: "I'm not good enough", "I'm not smart enough", "Nobody will love me if they know who I really am", "I'm an impostor", "I don't deserve to be loved", etc.

In my article "Transforming Your Gremlin", I wrote about using a special coaching process to transform your Gremlin into a positive force to support you for your success. In the article below, best-selling author and executive coach C.J. Hayden, MCC, talks about how negative self-talk stops you in your tracks of marketing your service, and what to do to get past it so you can move forward confidently. She is writing specifically about marketing your business or services, but the same principles apply to individuals who are plagued by their Gremlin in personal relationships, career, etc. So, even if you are not a business owner or service professional, I hope you read it with the intention of finding tips to apply to your own life.


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Who Do You Think You Are?
C.J. Hayden, MCC
Copyright © 2007, C.J. Hayden
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The fear of hearing those words when marketing your professional services can stop you in your tracks. It's the response you may most dread hearing when you make a sales pitch: "You? You think I should hire you? Well, who do you think YOU are?"

In reality, potential clients rarely say anything quite so confronting. Most people are polite and considerate when they decline to do business with you. But the real replies you hear from prospects are often a lesser obstacle to your success than the responses you imagine in advance. The negative reactions you think you might get can prevent you from saying anything at all.

Exposing yourself to criticism and rejection can be the scariest aspect of marketing a business where the product is yourself. When prospects challenge you with queries like "How much experience do you have?" or "What sort of results can I expect?" it can feel like a personal attack. When they say no to your offer or refuse to take your call, you may interpret their response as dislike, disapproval, or condemnation.

Whenever you find yourself hesitant or fearful about marketing because of what people might say to you, here are six countermeasures to help you keep going.

1. You are probably your own worst critic. No one else will ever criticize you as harshly as you criticize yourself. In fact, by listening ONLY to the voice in your own head instead of to what others think, you are likely to be exposing yourself to more criticism, not less.

Get out of your head and start listening to the good opinion others have of you. Ask a friend, colleague, or your coach to list for you all the positive qualities that make you a qualified, competent professional. When people give you compliments, make note of what they say. Keep a file of your fan mail from satisfied clients and respected colleagues, and review it as undeniable evidence of what great service you can provide.

2. Your prospects' business decisions are not judgments of your character. When potential clients say no to hiring you, it simply means they are choosing to spend their money elsewhere or to delay solving their problem. Their reasons for doing so have much more to do with THEM than they do with you. Don't take a client's refusal to mean there is something wrong with you.

Even when prospects choose to work with a competitor, they really aren't judging you. They are making a business decision about what suits their needs best -- a lower price, someone whose experience is a closer match for their project, or someone referred from a source they trust. You will often find that a prospect who decides not to work with you will turn around and refer you to someone else. They wouldn't do that if they thought you weren't up to the job.

3. When prospects don't respond, it means nothing. If a prospect doesn't respond to your letter, email, or phone call, it's tempting to manufacture reasons why you haven't heard from them. Your critical self may try to tell you they don't like your style, found someone else, believe you are incompetent, and a long list of other nonsense. But you're making all that up based on no evidence whatsoever.

When a prospect doesn't get back to you, it's just as likely that they are too busy, their need isn't urgent, they went on vacation, or the boss gave them a higher-priority project. If you're going to make things up about your prospects, wouldn't it be more helpful to visualize them eager to talk to you and awaiting your calls and letters?

4. Neither brilliance nor perfection are requirements for success. You don't need to believe you are the very best at what you do in order to succeed. You simply need to believe you are capable, reliable, and deliver good value, and be willing to tell people so. Your prospects really don't want someone who broadcasts the message, "I'm the best." They want someone who tells them, "I'll get your job done."

Often the most successful professionals are not those with the most talent anyway. Remember the story of the turtle and the hare? The hare ran ahead, and full of his own success, he rested for too long. The turtle won the race because he kept moving forward at his own consistent speed. However good you are right now is good enough to get the job done for your clients. If you keep broadcasting that message consistently, you'll get hired.

5. You're not going to improve without more chances to practice. If you're not perfect yet, it simply means you need more experience, and what better way to get it than by doing real jobs for real clients? This is what everyone does. No professional was born knowing his or her business inside out.

Training and book-learning can only go so far. The best way to learn is almost always by doing. The recognized experts in your field got to be that way by doing work for clients and getting paid for it. If you can deliver results to your clients in a reasonable timeframe at a market rate price, it's time to stop rehearsing and start performing.

6. You can't wait for your inner critic to stop talking. Ask successful professionals whether they still doubt their abilities sometimes, and the honest ones will tell you: "Absolutely." The way you become successful is not by waiting for the doubts to go away. The path to success is by taking consistent action in pursuit of your goals even when doubts creep in.

Who do you think you are? You are a skilled, valuable professional with a wealth of expertise to contribute to your potential clients. If you don't begin by convincing yourself of that, then you won't be able to convince anyone else either.


Copyright © 2007, C.J. Hayden

C.J. Hayden is the author of Get Clients Now!™ Thousands of business owners and independent professionals have used her simple sales and marketing system to double or triple their income. Get a free copy of "Five Secrets to Finding All the Clients You'll Ever Need" at www.getclientsnow.com.

Labels: awareness, coaching, empowerment, making changes, managing emotions, mental fitness, overcoming fears, perseverance, personal development, perspective, success, transforming limiting beliefs