• September 29th (Friday) at 12:00pm ET -- Law of Attraction - EFT Telegathering with Kathy Atkinson. We will be talking about Intensive Self-Care and practical tips for living a high-energy life.
• October 29th (Sunday) at 9:00pm ET -- I will be teaching a teleclass about "Resuscitate Your Life: C.P.R. for More Balance, Serenity and Purpose" with Dr. Maria Moratto.
• November 2nd (Thursday) at 7:00pm ET -- I will be giving a live workshop at Denville Public Library on "Intensive Care for Women Who Nurture" (how to nurture yourself while caring for others).

Labels: Newsletter, priority, time management, work life balance

Labels: authentic self, being mindful, conscious choice, Intensive Self-Care, priority, time management, transforming limiting beliefs, work life balance

"It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start."

-- Mother Teresa, 1910-1997 Catholic Nun, Missionary and Nobel Prize Recipient

Questions to ponder:

• Do you have the kind of loving relationship you desire with your loved ones? If not, what are the "blocks" in your relationship?
• Do you show the same level of patience, understanding and compassion for your own family as you do for others?
• If you were to treat your loved ones with unconditional love and acceptance, what would you do differently?
• What can you do today to show your love for your family and people around you?

Share your ideas & your action plan.

Labels: compassion, love, relationship

"Most people give up just when they're about to acheive success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown." -- H. Ross Perot

When I was in nursing school (in Taiwan), I used to sing in the College of Medicine Chorus. One Spring Break we went on a trip to The Tai Chi Gorge, where we had to hike on slippery wet boulders down to the deep valley by the river, or climb up the rocky hills on roped ladders -- with no harness, mind you. (If my over-protective parents knew this, they would've freaked out!) Every night we were exhausted by the bonfire. And then some guys who also belonged to the Mountaineer Club decided to tell us the horror stories of how another college's Mountaineer Club encountered a major typhoon (hurricaine) while trying to climb one of the toughest mountains in Taiwan, and how most of them died of exposure -- one guy was found only a couple hundred feet from the cabin. The storm must've been too severe for him to see how close he was from safety. It's the kind of story that gives you goose bumps, especially when you are deep in the mountains yourself.

I kept thinking, even now, "If only that guy kept on walking (or crawling) for a little longer, he would've found the cabin and survived." And I can't help but think: "What if that was me? Would I have survived?"

How do you prevent yourself from "quitting on the one yard line"? I think there are some elements you need:

• Be very clear about your vision and goal
• Remind yourself WHY you want to achieve this goal
• Have a step-by-step action plan
• Up your mental toughness
• Record & celebrate your progress
• Get support from others: friends, family, your life coach
• Change your attitude toward frustration, rejection and failures
• Never give up

Labels: attitude, commitment, goal-setting, mental fitness, perseverance, personal development, perspective, success, transforming limiting beliefs, vision

Questions to Ponder:

• What negative self-talk do you say to yourself? What is your "inner critic" telling you?
• What are your limiting beliefs about yourself?
• In what way is this self-talk/limiting belief affecting your life & your success?
• If you recognize any negative self-talk, what can you replace it with?

Action Challenge:

This week, come up with a new positive self-talk or affirmation to replace a negative one.

Labels: attitude, empowerment, intention, making changes, transforming limiting beliefs

RISK! The Missing Ingredient: Talent + Hard Work + Willingness to Risk = Realized Potential

That was the title of the Opening Keynote by Madeleine Homan, MCC, at the International Coach Federation New York City chapter's annual conference in September 2005. I felt very excited and blessed to be in the presence of so many great coaches. There were many thought-provoking lectures and workshops that day, but I was most moved and inspired by Ms. Homan's speech (not to mention that she sang the song "No Day But Today", one of my favorite, from the broadway show "Rent" at the end of her speech.... let's face it, it takes real gut to sing in front of 400 people!)

I'd like to share what I learned from her speech with you. Ms. Homan said that the four major reasons people don't take risks (in life, business, relationships, etc) are: fear of change (the primary reason), fear of it being too hard & eats your life, fear of judgement (from other people), and fear of failure (particularly common for people who are already successful in some way). How many of these can you identify within yourself? I can certainly relate to one or more of these in different aspects & events in my own life.

Most people are afraid of changes. We'd rather keep the status quo (even if the situation is bad), because it is familiar and it's easier to stay in our "comfort zone". However, to make positive changes we need to first change our mindset about change. We need to be aware of what we are letting go (of old things or people or beliefs), and the reason we are letting go of these is to make room for new/better things.

Taking risks does not mean jumping blindly off a cliff without a safety net or a parachute. Although John Burroughs said "Leap, and the net will appear", Ms. Homan suggested building a pair of wings before jumping off a cliff. She said, you can certainly build your wings on your way down -- but at least build the infrastructure of the wings before you jump.

There are things you can do to make taking risks a little easier. For example, if you are afraid of failure or tackling something way too hard for you, do your homework, prepare yourself before you take the risks, get help (borrow or pay for as much expertise as you can), build a support community (friends, family, your life coach) that will support you & advocate for you, make realistic goals (but don't forget to dream bigger too), do the "inner work" so that you can honor your values and intuition (the "small still voice" inside of you). Basically, if you build a safety net to support your new endeavor, you won't be so paralyzed by the thought of taking risks that you can't move forward.

Another point she made was courage. The original meaning of the word "courage" is "the ability to stand by one's heart". She stressed that as coaches, we need to be a role model for our clients, and that we're paid to challenge our clients, including in the area of courage. Even if you are not a coach, this applies to you too. No matter what your job/role is (be it a parent or teacher or manager or friend), you need to be a role model for someone else.

I was thinking about her speech over the weekend, this came to mind and I'd like to share with you. I don't know if you've watched the movie "Legally Blonde 2" from a few years ago. My daughter loved that movie because it's funny and cute. Although the movie wasn't Oscar-worthy in any way, there was a message from that movie that spoke to my heart. In the movie the main character Elle Woods got a chance to address the congress and she told a story of her own experience. She waited for months to get an appointment at this very expensive and prestigious salon. Unfortunately, the hair stylist didn't cut her hair the way she wanted it, then they used the wrong solution to perm her hair -- it was a total disaster. The whole time she kept quiet, too afraid to speak up because it was THE most expensive, prestigious salon and she thought they know better than she did. Needless to say, she ended up with a ridiculous haircut and feeling terrible for herself.

The moral of the story is, things happened the way they did because she did not participate actively in the process and did not speak up for herself. At the end of her speech to the congress, she said, "Speak up, or America is in for a really bad haircut!"

Take a moment and think about it. Does your life suffer from "bad haircut" on a regular basis? You know that you are your own advocate. If you don't speak up and stand up for yourself, then who will?

• What events/situations in your life happened because you did NOT speak up for yourself?
• In what areas of your life do you need to demonstrate more courage? Is it your business, relationship, time for yourself, health and emotional well-being?
• In what way do you need to "stand up for your life" (as Cheryl Richardson said)?

Once you identify at least one area of your life that you want to show more courage & take more risks, what can you do to build the safety net (or wings or parachute) before taking the leap of faith? What would be the first step you can take this week to move toward your goal?

March boldly toward your goals and dreams. I'd love to hear from you about your thoughts and your daring new adventure. If you ever need to talk, I'm always here.

"There are two primary choices in life:
to accept conditions as they exist,
or accept the responsibility for changing them."
--- Denis Waitley

Labels: attitude, commitment, empowerment, getting support, goal-setting, making changes, overcoming fears, personal development, success, transforming limiting beliefs

"Employ the power of positive quitting. Most of us view quitting as something negative, but it's not. 'Winners never quit,' we're told, when, in reality, winners quit all the time: choosing to stop doing things that aren't creating the results they desire. When you quit all the things that aren't working for you, when you quit tolerating all the negative things that hold you back, you'll create a positive 'charge' in your life as well as create the space in your life for more positive experiences."
-- Jim Allen, Inspirational Speaker, Author and Life Coach

Questions to ponder:

• What's not working in your life? In what way is it holding you back?
• What negative things are you committed to quitting?
• What is your goal?
• What is your first step toward this goal?
• What are you committed to do this week to work toward your goal?
  

Call to Action:

• Choose one thing to quit (dont' overwhelm yourself trying to change more than one area of your life at a time).
• Using the "S.M.A.R.T. goal" formula (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Reasonable & Timed), write down your goal -- what specifically are you going to do & by when, how to measure your success, is it achievable & reasonable for you to set this goal
• Decide the first step you can take this week
• Share your goal & action plan with someone (your friend, family, life coach)-- telling someone about your goal firms up your commitment and hold you accountable, so you're more likely to do it
• You're welcome to send me an email or call me to share your goal, and let me know how I can support you
• Share your success stories!

Labels: accountability, attitude, commitment, conscious choice, goal-setting, making changes, personal development

The other day, I was reading a special report on "Summer Ease" in U. S. News & World Report (July 10, 2006), and it's quite interesting. According to a "Vacation Deprivation" survey by Harris Interactive for Expedia.com, Americans receive fewer paid vacation days than Europeans (an average of 8.9 days after one year of employment vs. a minimum of 20-25 days in European Union). Not only that, Americans typically leave 4 days of vacation unused -- up from 3 days in last year's survey. (I speculate that this number would be WAY higher if you survey the workers in Asia, but, let's focus on Americans for now) What is this "trend" suggesting? Are Americans joining the Asians in "forgetting how to take time off"???

Even if they do take the vacation, a lot of people aren't "un-plugged" from work. They are still "chained" to their cell phones, PDAs, laptop computers, etc. I once went on a field trip with my daughter's school to NYC, and the mom sitting next to me on the bus kept checking her cell phone & Blackberry. She said she is an assistant in a big company and "they" never leave her alone. I wondered what could be so important & urgent that "they" had to email and call her every two minutes -- on her day off? On the other hand, there are people who wouldn't "unplug" even though they could. They could be surrounded by breath-taking scenery and their loved ones, but they are not totally "there".

And then, there are people who approach vacation with a "competitive spirit".... they are trying SO HARD to CRAM as much FUN as possible, and make every minute COUNT that they exhaust (instead of rest & relax & recharge) themselves at the end of vacation. The owners of SlowTravel.com called it "Zoom Travel", as in "If it's Tuesday, this must be Belgium", or something like that. You hear that expression all the time: "I need a vacation to recover from this vacation". Sometimes you are physically tired from the travel but emotionally exhilirated, and that's a good feeling. But, I'm talking about the kind of people who are both physically AND emotionally drained at the end of their vacation -- kind of defeat the purpose of going on vacation in the first place, don't you think?

Well, it's August and we're a month away until school begins (at least in Northern Jersey anyway, I know in some states school has probably begun). By this time, your kids are probably done with summer camp. And if they are like most American kids, they'd probably complained to you (more than once) that they are B O R E D !!!!!

The truth is, nowadays a lot of kids (and may I say grown-ups too) are over-stimulated and over-scheduled. They are so used to organized, NON-STOP activities all day long. They fill whatever free time with TV and video games. There's little or no "free time" any more. No time to day dream or engage in creative play, or read a book, or simply sit & watch the clouds, or sunset, or listen to the birds in the backyard..... When they DO have some free time on their hands, they are at a total loss and don't know what to do with themselves.

Think about it, we are "training" them to grow up to become adults who do not know how to unwind and arrange their personal downtime. No wonder we are more and more stressed out with each new generation!!

In traditional Chinese paintbrush paintings, there's always much "white space" (the area on the rice paper canvas that is blank, with nothing painted on). In many cases, the "white space" is larger than the area where the artists actually painted something. The "white space" is considered extremely important, as it balances the entire painting and often conveys a sense of calm & serenity.

I think our life is just like a Chinese painting. In order to have balance and inner peace, you need sufficient "white space". Look at your own life now, how much "white space" do you have? Is your "life painting" overly cluttered and there's no breathing room left? Suppose you are looking at your own "life painting" as a third party, what emotions surface?

• What kind of emotions would you like to convey in your "life painting"?
• If you can make some changes to your "life painting", what would that be?
• What can you eliminate in order to create more "white space" in your life?
• What can you do today, next week, or next month to achieve that?

Share your comments and ideas here.

Labels: conscious choice, de-clutter, Intensive Self-Care, priority, setting boundaries, stress management, time management, work life balance

Labels: awareness, being mindful, conscious choice, inner peace, Intensive Self-Care, learn to say no, personal development, perspective, priority, stress management, time management, work life balance