Do you feel over-scheduled, over-worked, and overwhelmed? Does your daily life feel like a car race? Do you feel like you hardly ever have family dinner or any face time with your family? You are not alone.

Americans are putting longer hours on the job every year. In fact, we're working more than medieval peasants did, and more than the citizens of any other industrial country. On average, Americans work nearly nine full weeks (350 hours) LONGER per year than our peers in Western Europe do. Is it sad or what?!

That's not all. Working Americans average a little over two weeks of vacation per year, while Europeans average five to six weeks. Many of us (including 37% of women earning less than $40,000 per year) get NO paid vacation at all.

In fact, only 14% of Americans will get a vacation of two weeks or longer this year. A third of women and a quarter of men get no annual leave anymore, as annual leave benefits are being eliminated like pensions. Many others are afraid to use their paid leave for fear they could be laid off or demoted if they do. No wonder the average American vacation is now down to a long weekend.

Is it any wonder that most people are feeling SO stressed out?

Today (October 24) is Take Back Your Time Day. It's a major U.S./Canadian initiative to challenge the epidemic of overwork, over-scheduling and time famine that now threatens our health, our families and relationships, our communities and our environment. You can get more details about this movement at www.timeday.org.

Here are some tips to help you take back your time:

1. Learn to Say No
When you are bombarded and overwhelmed by an endless avalanche of tasks, obligations and demands from others, it's critical to know how to say NO and set good boundaries effectively. It's the "gatekeeper" to minimize the amount of tasks and demands you have to deal with.

Whenever you are saying yes to something, you are saying no to something else in your life. So make sure you are saying YES to something important to YOU, and say NO to the rest. For those of you who has a tendency to say yes to every request from others, make it a personal policy to never say yes on the spot. Tell them you have to check your calendar, consult with your spouse or sleep on it. People would respect it when you say it's a personal policy. They won't take it personally. When you do get back to them and decide to say no, be brief without giving too much explanation. Know that you have the right to choose what to say yes to, base on YOUR priorities, core values, and what's on your plate.

2. Practice the 3-D Principle
Every task that comes your way, use the 3-D Principle to determine whether to DO it, DELEGATE it, or DUMP it. The only things that belong to the DO it category are things that must be done by you and you alone, and things that you actually enjoy and choose to do. If a task can be done by someone else, try to delegate it so you can free up precious time and energy to do what's more important and/or enjoyable.

Oftentimes we spend way too much time and energy on things that are not important to our long-term goals or core values. They might feel like have-to's, must-do's, should's, or something urgent but has no "real" value at all for your long-term goals and well-being. Sometimes you might set out to do projects that would be "nice" if you get them done, but, the reality is that with everything else on your plate, you probably will never get to it. So, they stay on your to-do list, take up your mental space, and drain your energy. You need to take a hard look at those things on your to-do list, and choose to dump them altogether. Believe me, you will feel so much lighter!

3. First Thing First
I know this is such a cliché but it is indeed very important. Have you ever had a day when you make the mistake of checking your emails first thing in the morning, and end up spending all morning on emails and surfing the net? Then you feel all frustrated and beat yourself up because you have wasted so much time, and didn't get the important tasks done. We've all been there. I've found it's extremely important for me to prioritize and stay focused on the most important task first, before I allow myself to "wander" into other "stuff".

Brian Tracy says if your tasks are frogs, you need to eat the biggest, the ugliest frog FIRST, before you move on to something else. So, set your plate and eat that frog!

4. Stay in the Moment
The present moment, that is. Most of our anxiety, fears, worries and stress come from thinking about the past or the future. We are not fully alive, when we are living in the past or in the future. We are immersed in these stressful thoughts and feelings, and letting our life slip by. Think about it, have you ever spent time with your child, but you were not mentally there? Are you always in a hurry to get IT (whatever it is) done or go somewhere else? What you're saying to yourself is that whatever you are doing or experiencing right now, is not as important as whatever comes next. Even if what you are doing right now is actually important or enjoyable, because you are not fully present, you cannot experience it fully. A client once told me that even when she went to a massage, half-way through the massage she was already thinking about what she had to do for the rest of the day. She always hurried out right after her massage, instead of allowing herself a few more minutes to transition back to the rest of her day. How much relaxation do you think she really get from her massage?

Make a conscious choice to stay in the present moment. Whatever you are doing or need to deal with, try to focus only on the task at hand, without worrying about what would happen in the future, or even the next moment. Focus only on this present moment. You will have better productivity and less stress.

5. Make time for YOU
When the going gets tough, what do you let go first? Most people let go of their self-care. It could be sleep, healthy eating, exercise, leisure time, hobbies, time with friends, time with yourself, etc. In fact, most people are so over-scheduled, you probably feel like you don't even have 10 minutes free time to yourself. Guess what? It will continue to be this way, unless you make a point to make time for YOU.

It's OK to relax and focus on YOU for a change. What would you like to do for yourself? It could be 15 minutes of quiet time in the morning before everyone gets up, sit a enjoy a cup of your favorite tea, a quick walk around the block at lunch time, a bubble bath infused with therapeutic-grade essential oils, 20 minutes of reading or journaling before bed, going to yoga class, watch a funny video on YouTube, a coffee date with a friend, or a girls night out. When you are really pressed for time, even just 3 minutes of deep breathing can do wonders for your energy, concentration and outlook. Don't tell me you can't even spare 3 minutes for YOU! (Well, if you do feel this way, you need to call me for a coaching session. Stat! Seriously!)

So, set an intention to take back your time, and decide which action steps you will commit to take from now on. Your health, well-being and happiness depend on it. The choice is yours.

Labels: being mindful, coaching, commitment, conscious choice, Intensive Self-Care, learn to say no, present moment, priority, productivity, stress management, time management, work life balance