Copyright 2007 Hueina Su, Beyond Horizon Coaching

At our mother-daughter mastermind group (which we named "Mom and Me II"), we talked about body image and self-esteem for teenage girls. So many young girls (and grown women too) have serious issues with their body image and self image, resulting in low self-esteem, limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging behaviors, etc. In my line of work as a professional life coach, I've seen it time and again that low self-esteem is the root cause of many challenges that my clients are struggling with both in life and at work. For example, a person with low self-esteem might think "I'm not worthy of love" and as a result might not have the courage to pursue the love they desire, or leave an abusive relationship. Or, they might not pursue their dream job or ask for a pay raise, because they don't believe they deserve it. When they are working toward a goal, they might give up too early, because they either don't believe they have what it takes or deserve to be successful. They might sacrifice their own well-being and priorities to please others, because they need others' approval. These are all very common issues I see every day.

As you can see, these self-defeating behaviors can cause a lot of heartaches and hold one back from reaching his/her full potential and goals. That's why we felt that it's critical to address this issue in our mother-daughter mastermind group, so we can hopefully help our preteen daughters foster healthy self-esteem and future success.

At our last meeting, we asked the girls and moms to share what they think as signs of high self-esteem. Below are some of the characteristics that were mentioned. This is of course not an inclusive list. This is what we came up with on the spot that evening, plus a few I added on myself.

• good body posture -- stand up tall and straight
  
• good eye contact when talking with others
  
• smile at people
  
• confident in their abilities and what they do
  
• speak their mind
  
• speak in a powerful voice/language
  
• good sense of humor
  
• like themselves just the way they are
  
• not taking themselves too seriously e.g. make jokes about themselves
  
• not obsessed with how they look
  
• not afraid to ask for help when they need it
  
• say no when they need to
  
• assertive -- won't let others bully them
  
• authentic self-expression -- show their true self to others
  
• not afraid to ask for what they want
  
• value themselves -- know what they are worth and deserve
  
• happy for others' success, instead of feeling jealous or bad about themselves
  
• love and respect themselves
  
• honor their own needs -- make their well-being and self-care a priority
  
• can handle criticism and frustration well
  
• proud of who they are and their accomplishments
  
• appreciate their own gifts & talents
  
• have independent thinking, not easily influenced by others
  
• stand by their own values and principles
  
• trust their own intuition, judgment and decisions
  
• accept responsibility and admit their own mistakes, instead of blaming others
  
• confident in taking on new challenges/tasks, instead of avoiding them

Action Challenge:

What can you add to this list?

Which characteristics can you identify with?

And which ones will you work on cultivating in yourself?

Labels: authentic self, awareness, coaching, empowerment, getting support, Intensive Self-Care, mastermind, parenting, personal development, self love