© copyright 2006 Hueina Su, Beyond Horizon Coaching

"The Only Constant in Life is Change" -- Buddha

Change is inevitable. Think about it: everybody and everything in the world, even every cell in your body, are constantly changing, and there's no stopping them. Some changes are obvious (seasons, major life transitions); some changes are subtle yet you can see the long-term effects (aging, sun damage). Some changes are predictable and "by choice"; and others are unpredictable & involuntary. Some changes are permanent, and some are temporary. Depending on which type of changes occur to you, and how you perceive them (as positive or negative changes), life's changes could throw you a curve ball and cause major stress for you.

There are some common challenges in dealing with life's changes:

Fear

Fear is probably the biggest challenge people have when coping with life's changes. Change requires taking risks, and most people are too scared to take risks (more on taking risks in my previous article Taking Risks: The Missing Ingredient).

Fear (of failure, rejection, judgement, or fear of the unkown) holds people back, and even make them feel paralyzed at the mere thought of making changes or going through a life transition. Many people would rather keep the status quo because it's familiar, even if the current situation is really painful.

To distinguish between reasonable and unrational fears, and to overcome the fear, you can ask yourself these questions:

• What is the worst thing that could happen? (Fear mode)


• What is the best thing that could happen if I move forward despite my fear and everything works out the best they could? (Utopia mode)


• What is most likely to happen? (take stock in the Reality mode)


• What would I do IF I'm not afraid?

Attachment

Change requires letting go. Every time you make a change, you have to let go of something, and you receive something else instead. The more you are attached to your status quo, the harder it would be for you to make a change. Sometimes you might be attached to the outcome of a change or life transition, thus you are unwilling to let go & move forward. The Buddha teaches "no-attachment" principle. Dr. Wayne Dyer also said, "Have a mind that is open to everything, and attached to nothing". When you can keep an open mind, you are more likely to embrace changes and manage them with ease.


Inner Blocks

I'm referring to your "Gremlins" (Inner Critic) and limiting beliefs. For example, if a woman feels she does not deserve to be loved and respected, she might not muster up the courage to leave her abusive husband. If you believe that it is simply too late to start a new career in your 40s, you might simply give up without even trying.


So, how do you mange life's changes with ease? I invite you to take the L.E.A.P.

L -- Learn As Much As You Can about the Change

Knowledge is power. Whether the change is expected or unexpected, you can do your homework to learn as much as you can about the current situation, and even anticipate future changes.

E -- Engage Yourself And Others in the Process

Take an active role in the change process. Be proactive and be as involved as possible. Voice your concerns and preferences in the decision-making process. Engage others and build a "support team" for yourself. These people can include your friends, family, health professionals, life or business coach, financial & legal advisors, co-workers, people who have experienced or are experiencing the same changes (support group), mastermind group, other social organizations, etc.

A -- Adjust & Adapt Accordingly

As I mentioned before, if you are too attached to the status quo or a particular outcome, you will experience more difficulty making the transition. On the other hand, if you are flexible and open-minded, you will be more willing to accept the change and find other possible solutions.

P -- Putting Things in Positive Perspective

Research has shown that cancer patients with more positive outlook about their illness & about life in general, have better prognosis than pessimissive cancer patients. Metaphysics masters have told us how our thoughts and our mind create our reality. The word "crisis" in Chinese is made up by two characters "danger" and "opportunity". Whenever there is a crisis, there is risk and also opportunity.

I'm sure you have experienced unfortunate events in your life that turned out to be blessings in disguise. Sometimes you have to look very hard to see the silver lining. But, if you can train your mind to consciously look for the opportunities and count your blessings at all times, you will feel much more at peace and have the faith to deal with whatever comes your way. You will trust that you have the strength and resources to manage the changes, and "All is well" in your world.

A professional life coach can help you take the L.E.A.P. and lay out a solid action plan to thrive in any change. He or she can also offer resources and keep you on track until you reach your goal. The most important thing is to take the first step in the right direction, starting today. Even though whatever you are dealing with might seem overwhelming, if you take one baby step at a time, you will eventually reach your destination.

I would like to leave you with these affirmations:

"All of life is change.
I welcome the new challenge and opportunities life's changes bring to my journey, and I trust that the Universe will provide the guidance and support I ask for.
I choose to live consciously in every prement moment.
I joyfully accept where I am right now.
I am one with all the life.
No one has the power to irritate me unless I allow it.
Life flows easily through me.
I am free to take charge of my life.
I am at peace.
All is well in my world.
All is well."

Labels: attachment, getting support, letting go, making changes, overcoming fears, perspective, success, transforming limiting beliefs